The Push and Pull

 


Eyes entranced on the horizon, I am reminded of the small, but significant, role I play amongst all God’s creation. I am one, on the beach, located in a state that is made up of fifty other states that make up one country, which is tied to many other countries, on top of a rock that rotates around the sun every 365 days, in a universe that is tied to one of many galaxies. I am one small human, sitting upon trillions of microscopic shavings of rock, shell, and life matter. Each particle of sand sifting through my toes and laced between each finger. I close my eyes and roll the sand between my index and thumb finger, trying to feel for what one grain of sand would feel like in my hand. No matter how small it felt, it continued to dwindle into particles of nothingness. The salted air beckons me to the ocean and I walk towards the water.


With each sinking foot step, I feel new sand being introduced to the old. The dryness of it rubs against my skin. The sand begins to moisten, as cold water glides its foaming fingers across the shore. Now firm, the sand feels like a road, leading to calming waters. Lassoing me in, the sea pushes itself onto my ankles, then my calves and thighs. Soon enough, it encloses around my rib cage, and I feel an introduction to the seaweed marinated sea. I stop.


In that moment, sand in my toes, salt in the air, water to my chest, I begin to realize that I play a small role in this world. I am part of a bigger plan. A plan that I cannot fathom in the small, but complex mind our creator made for me. 


The ocean is calm, for now. The ocean pushes and pulls me. In that moment, there is a feeling of understanding and with that, respect.  Push and pull. The ocean is mighty and yet, as a grandparent takes a knee when they speak to their grandchildren, the ocean reduces itself and looks at me from eye level.


If it truly wanted to, it could continue to pull me out to sea. It could take me into deeper waters and I would be helpless against its efforts. Its infinite size and unfathomable strength is incomparable. Though, I knew this from the start, and that was the beauty in it all.


My back is turned towards the ocean and gaze along the shore. Mothers running after their children. Cars going faster than the speed limit to get to nowhere particularly special. Loud music, high expectations, disappointment. This is the ocean’s point of view. This is the perspective of the sea. Through it all, it says, “None of that matters.” The tide hugs itself around me. I feel the push and the pull. The push and the pull. Anchoring to the Earth through the tips of my toes.


Try as I might to stay off the mainland, the ocean ushers me home. Each wave guiding me forcefully back to where I came from. Drying off with my towel, I head home. I kiss my loved ones. I eat dinner. I check my work emails. Turning on the shower, I take off my bathing suit and stare at the grains of sand that followed me.

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